1 With my voice I cry out to the Lord;
with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord.
2 I pour out my complaint before him;
I tell my trouble before him.
3 When my spirit faints within me,
you know my way!
In the path where I walk
they have hidden a trap for me.
4 Look to the right and see:
there is none who takes notice of me;
no refuge remains to me;
no one cares for my soul.
5 I cry to you, O Lord;
I say, “You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living.”
6 Attend to my cry,
for I am brought very low!
Deliver me from my persecutors,
for they are too strong for me!
7 Bring me out of prison,
that I may give thanks to your name!
The righteous will surround me,
for you will deal bountifully with me.
I love this Psalm. I love the brokenness of David, his cry of loneliness while he’s in the cave. David is fearing for his life, and in that moment, he realizes God is his only way out. I picture David sitting, with arms outstretched in full submission. Completely vulnerable and open. Perhaps what led David to the cave was in some way his pride, or shame, or fear. A hiding place. Perhaps it was solely circumstances that pinned him in the dark. But whatever landed him in there, I believe it was meant to be a place of death. I think in this moment, it was necessary for a part of David to die. The part that kept him back, kept him in his fear. This part of David died, so that the true leader God created him to be could be born. A leader that was fully dependent on God for his refuge, safety and rescue.
I often feel this way, completely trapped in my cave because of things going on around me. Parenting, ministry, marriage, finances and work. Fearing that who I know myself to be, might die. In this fear, I retreat. I find a place of refuge. Books, TV shows, hobbies, and in some cases complete isolation and loneliness. There are days where I just cannot seem to get a grip and sulk in my destitution. However, these are necessary places to be. Just as the cave was a necessary place for David,