Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.(Ps. 51. 6.)
This verse describes to me the reason for David’s sorrow. He did not have truth and honesty dwelling within himself and that is why God pushed the button of his conviction. He had a grievous sin that was out in the open for everyone to see but he lied within himself to justify the error of his ways. Nathan, a prophet of God, brought this sin to the front of David’s mind. He showed it to him and it pained David’s heart that he would commit such an injustice. It brought a great sense of disappointment and failure to David. To know that he had done something to displease God… To know that he had pained the one who had watched him from the womb… To know that he had brought reproach to the name of the Holy One… It tore David down. His sorrow was real. He actually was pained that he hurt God. You can almost hear and visualize his tears and immense grief. You can see him throwing dust upon himself and groveling in the dirt. Such a low place for David.
As David laments though, you can also hear the cries of a child that longs to be brought back into right relationship with his Father. He was so torn up over his sin but David looked to God’s mercy. “Restore me God! Restore me!” “Discipline me, clean me, wash me.” He understands his complete dependence on God for forgiveness. David could not forgive himself into God’s grace. He entreated God for mercy, for grace and to make himself in right standing before God again. This completely tears down the thoughts that are running rampant through many church circles. We cannot positively think ourselves into a right standing with God. We cannot, “Name it and claim it,” and expect things to be right with God.
When you are wrong accept that you are wrong and ask for forgiveness. Become low (because you really are) and entreat the mercy of God upon your head. Man may withhold forgiveness because of pride or arrogance but God always accepts the sacrifices of an honestly broken heart crying out to Him for mercy. Don’t fake your apology. God sees through that. It is God’s mercy that He reveals that you are wrong and sinful. He does this so you will run to Him. Some never experience this conviction. It is a blessing to be humbled before the Lord. It is a blessing because God will bring you up from your sad estate when you seek Him. Lord bless you.